Jay Leno

Best Quotes

• If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

• The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

• President Clinton says in this month’s 'Esquire' that he wants the Republicans who spoke against him during the impeachment to apologize to him. But the Republicans today said those were oral insults, and under Clinton’s logic, an oral insult is not really an insult.

• Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can. What your co-workers say about you, what your opponent is doing -- that doesn't matter.

• You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

• You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

• There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.

• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

• The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

• I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite goodMaybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

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