Johnny Carson

Best Quotes

• Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: Are your ready?

• Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

• 'Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say 'Storms suck!'.

• For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

• For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

• Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will.

• The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

• The Hollywood tradition I like best is called 'sucking up to the stars.'

• The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money

• The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

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