Woody Allen

Best Quotes

• Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.

• Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.

• Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

• Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

• A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

• In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.

• If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

• If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he wouldn't be able to stop throwing up.

• I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

• Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

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